My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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