Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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