Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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