Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea

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(909): View more from California

so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.

(1-909): View more from California

I worship thee.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.

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(240): View more from Maryland

We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade

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(586): View more from Michigan

somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car

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(607): View more from New York

No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?

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(519): View more from Ontario

all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays

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