i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
