Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
