I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
