Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
