i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize