And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
