She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
