this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize