Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
