I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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