you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize