I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
