im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
