finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
