Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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