Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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