Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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