drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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