Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
