I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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