TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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