so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
