so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
