This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
