I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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