Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
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