so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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