dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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