It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
