your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
no you cant smoke seaweed
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
