Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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