she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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