Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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