Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
