The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
