OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
