Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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