you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
