i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
