I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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