That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
