We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
