Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
