oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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