I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
