Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
