If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Farmville is her only friend.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize