I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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