Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
