Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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