and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
