It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
