My nipple is on Facebook.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
