is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
