Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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