You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
